


Bandage to the soul

by sapphirae_escapist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Batcave, Coffee, Gen, Injury, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 09:52:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/784716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphirae_escapist/pseuds/sapphirae_escapist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is having difficulties with the whole 'being human' thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Ah, man, it is a horribly long night" Sam yawned.

Team Free Will was in the batcave's library, doing some research for their current job. Research that involved going through dozens of old books to find data about their current monster of the week. They moved in the last three hours only to close one book and open another. Sam was irritated because his computer had been found useless, Cas was irritated because he was just getting acclimatised to his new human state and not being used making so much effort without actual success and Dean was just irritated in general. 

Dean didn't even look up to his brother's statement.

"Go and make some coffee if you can't bear it. If I have to get up and get away from here I'm sure as hell not coming back" he snorted, clearly annoyed at himself for not making any progress rather than at the book he was reading or at his brother. 

Sam just shook his head. "Nah, I'll manage."

Castiel looked up and studied the brothers for a few moments befire he spoke up.

"I... I can make some coffee."

That more or less startled the Winchesters, but Sam, being the more polite and less staring type, recovered quickly.

"Yeah, sure, that'd be helpful. Thanks, Cas."

Dean kept his brow raised as Cas stood and walked out to the kitchen.

"Coffee? Seriously?" he eyed Sam after Cas couldn't hear them.

"Why? He has been living here for some time now. I think he witnessed you making coffee before, since you two barely move out of each other's sight nowadays..."

"Shut up."

They continued to work in silence, but Dean's mind was hardly on the job while Cas was absent. An angel of the Lord, making coffee in a batcave that would make even Batman green from jealousy... 

After a few more moments their peace was disturbed by a sudden cry and clashing. The brothers both kicked their chairs back, Sam doing so fast that his tumbled over. Dean was the first to reach the kitchen and find the ex-angel sitting in the floor, his right hand held against his chest tightly, and he was slowly rockingback and forth. He glanced up to the sound of footsteps, and he looked so miserable and lost that Dean instinctively hurried towards and crouched beside him. 

"Let me see" he asked, then gently took Cas's right hand into his. Cas's fingertips and about half of his palm were angry red- an obvious sign of burn. "What happened?"

"I... I forgot how my vessel is no longer resistant to physical harm."

Dean stood up and pulled Cas with him. He held his friend's hand under cold water to calm both the hurt skin and the angel wearing it.

  "Better?"

"Yes. Thank you." Cas didn't met his eyes. Didn't dare to, Dean could tell. He was ashamed of himself.

"Cas, it's nothing. It'll heal. Happens to everyone." he tried to comfort Cas, but only got more tensed shoulders on the other's behalf as a result.

"Not to you. I am sorry, I broke your kettle."

Dean glimpsed around for the first time he entered the kitchen since they heard the cry only to find broken pieces of their porcelain kettle on the floor and a pool of water. Sam had already rushed for a shovel and sponge to clean up the mess. 

"It doesn't matter. It was awful anyway" Dean tried to joke, but Cas wasn't in the mood.

"It does matter, Dean. I am awful at this. All of this" he moved his head around as an answer to Dean's questioning look. "Being human. It... I am just a mess. I am of no use in this form. I can't heal, I can't fight properly and I break everything I touch."

Especially the last part stung Dean. He heard it from Bobby, and many times he thought the same way about himself. Hearing and seeing Cas like this, so deep in self-loathing and lack of confidence... Dean's heart shattered.

"C'mon, let's get you a bandage" Dean pulled Cas away from the sink, sat him down to a chair (not minding walking on the broken porcelain pieces) and got a first-aid kit. He found hydrating cream and used it to soothe the skin. "Here. This'll do" he claimed, sitting in front of Cas on the floor. By the time he finished his knees were soaking from the water that cooled instantly as it came in touch with the ground. He didn't mind, but Cas looked even more guilty. Dean stopped his next outburst with a firm "don't". 

He nearly bumped into Sam who just got back with a sponge. Dean walked to his room, got an old and clean pair of his socks, then in the kitchen he poured cold water on it. Not minding Cas's unspoken questions he put the wet cloth on the burnt part of Cas's fingers and palm, then with a dry gauze he tied it. "All good now."

Sam throw the pieces to the bin, and sponged up the water. Dean got up, pulled a chair next to Cas's, then sit down, and with a serious face- so serious that Cas didn't even dare to look away, just seemed generally terrified- addressed his friend.

"Now, listen to me. You are not useless. I told you, Cas, many times, that I needed you, and I still do. Not for your powers, but because of who you are.I would still want you in a wheelchair. It would still be the you I need. And you _can_ fight, you are still stronger and more educated than most hunters in this world. We've been good without your healing for decades, we'll manage without it for a few more. It would come in handy, right now for example, but you lacking it doesn't mean you are useless. And... breaking things kinda runs in the family, so welcome to the club. But don't hate yourself for not being who you used to be. Understand?"

Cas met Dean's eyes with so much affection that Sam had to look away from the intimacy of their moment. But neither Cas nor Dean minded the audience. Dean held Cas's damaged hand in his lap, and Cas reached out with his left and caressed Dean's hands.

After long moments he spoke, and his eyes told that he loved Dean even more than before if it was possible. 

"I understand."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my love for the info about the proper was of treating burned skin.


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours later, exhausted from the research and finally deciding to take a break, Dean and Cas lay on Dean's bed in comforting silence. They were on their sides, facing each other, their whole bodies turned towards the other one. Dean's bed (and room) was big enought for two, but they had got some extra pillows for the extra angel.

Cas locked his eyes with Dean's. His hurt hand found it's place in the hunter's.

"About today..." he started, but Dean interrupted immediately, shaking his head.

"'Told you. I don't mind the kettle and I don't want to hear you say you were sorry."

"I know. I'm not saying any of that. Just... please. I need to tell you."

"All right, go on then."

Cas spoke his eyes before he started speaking again.

"Thank you for everything you said earlier. I truly value your words, Dean. I do find this life extremely hard, harder than the first time I fell. I suppose this feeling will remain until I die. However, I want you to know that I don't regret what's happened. I know you, better than anyone, and I know you blame yourself and question our right for happiness every day. Don't do so. I don't regret being a falen angel. Despite every... _downside_ of it, of being a powerless creature, I would rather chose this life over the one I lived before I met you. I'd rather live one human life with you, than have and eternity without you I would rather be an ex-angel without grace but with my own thoughts than a proper angel under Naomi's control. So however guilty you feel because of my incompetence of being human, do not blame yourself. I forbid you that."

After a moment of startled pause, because even without his mojo Cas was acting like he could read minds, Dean just looked at Cas like he was seeing the eight wonder of the world and knew this wonder was all his. He cupped Cas's face in his hands, then gently kissed him.

"Oh, I do find you rather competent in some ways I particularly enjoy" he said with the biggest grin on his face. "Want me to prove you?"

"I think I would love that" Cas replied, and let Dean kiss and love him until he was so filled with happiness he felt like he had his wings again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan a second part, but the first felt so unfinished that I just had to write the rest out of me.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for szelene2 for the proper and medical way of treating burned skin!


End file.
